Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My gripes with seventh generation consoles.

While in most ways this generation of consoles is better then the last, there are some major gripes I have with them:

1. (PS3/360) What the fuck happened to spilt screen? Seriously? How many games have it these days? Like 1 in 20? I happen to have a large TV, and have guests over nearly all the time, can't I play multiplayer without buying a second PS3/360, TV, and copy of the game? This is sheer bullocks.

2. (PS3) Mandatory Installs, go fuck yourself. Fucking installs. I hate installs. Great, I get a game, bring it home, and realize I need more space on my PS3. Okay, gotta delete stuff. Now I have enough room, set it to install and sit for 15 minutes, 'fun'. Now what about games that have no instal on 360, but a mandatory install of 5Gbs on PS3? Wtf is that shit? Also why don't all games store updates and installs in different places? I hate having to not only download the updates, but install it over again if I delete the install to make space...

3. (PS3/360) Downloadable Content. Okay, lower your pitchforks, and hear me out. I have nothing against well made DLC, I've bought my fair share for a fair amount of games. However, when you have overpriced downloadable content, and stuff that should have been in the game in the first place, it's a PITA. Also, what's with DLC that gives you the end of the game? What is this fucking bullshit? Look at Resident Evil 5, why is Versus a $5 download of 5Mbs? This shit doesn't fly with me.

4. (All) Death of genres. There are a few genres that have all but disappeared since the last generation of consoles. JRPG, Kart Racing, Jak/Sly/Ratchet style platformers, Zelda Style adventures, ect. Not to say there are none of these games coming out, but there are far and few between. Now to all of you that say "Well, JRPG deserves to die, WRPG are better" or "JRPG should die, they haven't innovated in years", please go fuck yourself with a wrench. Having less variety is NEVER a good thing.

5. (All) Timed Exclusives. Okay, seriously I don't give a fuck if I have to wait for a game on one console, but don't do all this dodgy PR shit, it makes you look like douchebags. "Exclusive for the timing being" is about as honest as that person that can only tell lies in the duo of which one always lies, and the other always tells the truth.

6. (All) Lack of color. While this generally doesn't bother me, some games take it too far. Gears of War is one case, Resistance: Fall of Man is another. Since when does life take place in a grayscaled world? Gimme some goddamn color.

7. (All) Motion Control. Wii, PS3, 360, iPhone.... Fucking seriously? What is this obsession with a control scheme that makes it impossible to have smooth gameplay on anything but minigame compilation and casual games? What's that? Mad World? Sure, that and No More Heros, That's like 2 in 5,000 that could get it right? And from my experience they are considered better only because they not as bad as the other games, but would have been simply 'pretty good' last generation. Great innovation guys! Now we have to wait a few years before people realize that if you want a smooth controlling game that isn't gimmicky, you need fucking buttons.

8. (All) Activision. While they were around last generation, they weren't the horrible shitbags they are now. Activision, you may suck my dick, choke on the ejaculate and be buried in your own piss. good day.

9. (Wii) Too many casual (aka shitty games). Casual gaming is one thing, making games that suck because people that buy them wont don't know what makes a game good is another thing. People making shitty games for the Wii to prey off the 'casual gamers' can eat shit and die.

10. (All) CEO Prickfights. Okay, seriously, I know you are competing, but some companies realize this doesn't mean you have to publicly diss other companies. Seriously. It makes you look like a dick. When I hear "We are excited to see what the competition is up to" and "We wish them good luck" I smile, and when I hear "Our company is the best" or "Our game is better then their game" I want to first kill those people, then babies. Stoppit dickweeds.

11. (PS3/360) $60 games. "But games cost more to develop for." Keep eating this PR shit. No, this is simply greedy companies. Fuck you. I buy my games used now, just to prove to you that I wont take this shit.

12. (All) Reviewer sucking the dicks of publishers. GTA IV was, In my opinion, a shitpile of a game. I rented it, and wasn't able to play it for over an hour. I later rented it again, thinking that it might have been my mood, but no, I still hated it. I then asked people, no one I know said they enjoyed the game, and I looked online, and it seemed the people that actually enjoyed the game were only about maybe 60% that bought it. Yet all reviews for the game on Metacritic are 90%+. Bullshit. Also note the whole Kane and Lynch scandal at Gamespot, We are getting fucked over by paid off review scores.

13. (All) Non-crossplatform plastic controllers. Rock Band and Guitar Hero compete, and use almost exactly the same type of controllers. It was bizarre when GH3's controllers didn't work with RB1 and vice versa, but it's really sad that PS3, 360, PS2, and Wii versions of all these games do not have compatible instruments. The only difference is the 'playstation' 'guide' and 'home' buttons. That is stupid reason to screw gamers out of cross-platform instruments.

That's all for now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Not sure if this is pro-nostalgia, but I somewhat agree.